Why Every Leader Needs the Right People—and How to Find Yours
Why Every Leader Needs the Right People In Their Corner–And How to Find Them
No matter if you're a solopreneur, a manager of a team, a CEO, the director of a nonprofit, or in any other official (or non official) leadership position, one thing is certain: Leadership comes with its stresses.
There are a lot of sources of this stress, but it essentially all comes down to the weight of responsibility. If you lead anything, you're responsible.
You're responsible for making sure your clients pay you on time. You're responsible for making sure new leads are coming through the pipeline. You're responsible for the error your accounting department made on the tax paperwork this year. You're responsible for the floors being swept, the dog being fed, negotiating the next deal... You name it.
When added up, a common temptation to cope with the stress is to isolate–which never works long term and is diametrically opposed to reducing stress. Isolating doesn't reduce stress, it increases stress.
Perhaps I'll cover why this is the case in a future post, but for now, let's accept that it's true.
So, then–How do you overcome this all?
One of the (many) keys to making sure you manage yourself well is to do just the opposite of isolating. You must not isolate. You must commune—but not with just anyone. You must commune with the right people.
Having the right people in your corner can save you from the famed "amygdala hijack"–or what I call the "lizard brain takeover". It's triggered by excessive stress or anxiety. Its job is to keep us alive–which serves us quite well if we're getting chased by a bear.
Unfortunately, the same function that can save us from being eaten by that bear serves us quite poorly when we're trying to manage a team, think creatively or do any form of advanced problem solving.
Remember this: It’s extremely difficult to make decisions that are in your best interest (much less the things you're responsible for, like your team, organization, or family) when you’re stuck on the amygdala hijack hamster wheel. All of the research I've come across on this seems to be on the side that high stress seriously compromises good judgment.
Ergo–Calm yourself down = Reclaim better decision making ability
Having the right people in your corner can bring you down off the edge of anxiety back to sanity and rational thinking. These people are what Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend call "safe people" in their book they so cleverly titled–you guessed it–Safe People.
These can be mentors, advisors, friends, coaches, family members, or anyone from pretty much any walk of life.
Finding these people takes time, though. Fortunately, I've developed a framework for how to do this.
Watch this video to see my process.
Click here to download the PDF now and begin to find your safe people.
It is only when I began to focus on keeping my safe people close that 2 things happened.
I realized the gravity of having the right people and limiting time with destructive people.
Both my personal life and my professional aspirations began to flourish–rapidly.
I'm sure this will be the case for you too (that is–if you choose to make this change in your life.)
Go through the framework. When you've begun to find your list of safe people, start reaching out to them. Ask one or two of them for a 20 minute phone call monthly–Then let me know how it goes (Seriously... email me at [email protected] and tell me if and how it helps).
Best,
Jesse-Lee
